I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Barsexuality is the new black.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
