i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
