I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.