Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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