Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
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I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
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I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now