Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  but she's really nice

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  (301): She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds. (301): but she's really nice http://tfl.nu/144l
  Replies (3) Good night (1185) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  Billy Mays is dead too!

  (1-352): View more from Florida

  Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs

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  (352): Billy Mays is dead too! (1-352): Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs http://tfl.nu/okmt
  Replies (11) Good night (2119) Bad night (702)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.

  (1-916): View more from California

  That's why you should quit smoking.

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  (916): It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here. (1-916): That's why you should quit smoking. http://tfl.nu/xt8p
  Replies (3) Good night (635) Bad night (2102)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.

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  (732): there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me. http://tfl.nu/v26u
  Replies (10) Good night (3901) Bad night (982)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot

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  (860): I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot http://tfl.nu/l7sq
  Replies (62) Good night (1665) Bad night (9509)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.

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  (319): After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it. http://tfl.nu/4aze
  Replies (4) Good night (1244) Bad night (628)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up

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  (215): I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up http://tfl.nu/xoz1
  Replies (9) Good night (2120) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I had him autograph the condom wrapper.

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  (573): I had him autograph the condom wrapper. http://tfl.nu/xdb0
  Replies (8) Good night (1857) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.

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  (443): I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done. http://tfl.nu/8szd
  Replies (10) Good night (1398) Bad night (451)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.

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  (919): Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him. http://tfl.nu/jn2a
  Replies (2) Good night (938) Bad night (284)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.

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  (865): Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville. http://tfl.nu/d4yv
  Replies (3) Good night (752) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch

  (1-619): View more from California

  Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.

  (619): View more from California

  Love you...

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  (619): You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch (1-619): Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you. (619): Love you... http://tfl.nu/dldo
  Replies (1) Good night (588) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.

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  (603): I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t. http://tfl.nu/mo8v
  Replies (4) Good night (549) Bad night (238)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later

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  (313): some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later http://tfl.nu/zhqr
  Replies (3) Good night (663) Bad night (328)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up

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  (973): I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up http://tfl.nu/1zy4
  Replies (1) Good night (215) Bad night (558)

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