He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
