Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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