Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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