Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
