Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize