I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
