So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
