Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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