The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
