The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
