If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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