I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
