hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
