I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
