I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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