when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
What a dumb baby whore.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
