yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
