Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
should my penis look like a turkey
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize
