he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
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Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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