Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
