Barsexuality is the new black.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
