plz talk dirty to me
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
