I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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