If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
