It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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