I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
