I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
