Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Randomize
