i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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