Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
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I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize