Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
