I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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