Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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