make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
