When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
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