At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
