Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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