I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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