Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
