I could make wine with my vomit
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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