i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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