brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Randomize
