2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
