You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
