so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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