we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
