You're completely useless in the revolution.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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