i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
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They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
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After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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