He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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