he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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