you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
