she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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