i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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