so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
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