Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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