ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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